Reconnecting with Your Child After Separation: First Steps, Mediation, and Custody Options

Separation is hard, especially when it affects your time with your children. It’s not uncommon for separated parents to feel frustrated, especially when they’re contributing to child support but are denied access to their child. If this sounds familiar, there are legal pathways to reconnect with your child, but there are important steps you need to follow.

In Australia, before you can apply to the court to spend time with your child, for custody or visitation, the law requires that you first attempt Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). Let’s walk through what that means, when it applies, and what steps you can take to pursue custody or visitation rights with your child.

What is Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)?

Under the Family Law Act 1975, parents who cannot agree on custody or visitation arrangements must first try mediation, known as Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), before going to court. The aim of FDR is to help parents reach an agreement about parenting without the need for a drawn-out legal process. 

At Shamac Lawyers, we offer private Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) services. This allows you to resolve disputes faster and more flexibly than through public mediation services, which may have longer wait times. However, for those with a healthcare card, there are public options available such as Relationships Australia or Family Relationships Centre, which offer mediation services at no or reduced cost. At this stage, it’s important to remember that at Shamac Lawyers, if mediation is unsuccessful, we cannot represent you in a parenting dispute due to legal ethics rules. You’ll need to seek another lawyer to assist with your case in court.

When Can You Skip Mediation?

There are certain situations where mediation is not required before applying to the court. These include:

• Urgent matters where immediate action is needed.
• Family violence or child abuse concerns where there’s a history or risk of abuse or violence.
• Physical incapacity or inability to participate effectively in mediation due to distance or other reasons.
• In such cases, you can apply for an exemption by filing an Affidavit – Non-Filing of Family Dispute Resolution Certificate. This affidavit explains why you are exempt from the mediation process and is an important step before filing for court orders.

First Steps to Reconnecting with Your Child

If you and the other parent reach an agreement during FDR, you can formalise the agreement by entering into a Parenting Plan or applying to the court for Consent Orders. Consent Orders make the agreement legally binding, ensuring both parties follow the terms.

If mediation does not result in an agreement, you’ll need to obtain a certificate from an accredited Family Dispute Resolution practitioner to demonstrate that mediation was attempted. This certificate is required before filing an application for Parenting Orders with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA).

For more information on Family Dispute Resolution, check out our ultimate guide to Family Dispute Resolution Mediation here.

How to Apply for Full Custody

Obtaining full custody (also referred to as full parental responsibility) is not a simple process. Courts in Australia prefer shared parental responsibility unless there are strong reasons not to. The court will prioritise the child’s best interests and consider factors such as:

• The child’s safety and welfare.
• The ability of each parent to provide for the child’s emotional and developmental needs.
• Any risks of harm, including exposure to family violence or abuse.

To apply for full custody, you’ll need to demonstrate that shared custody is not in the child’s best interests, often requiring evidence of neglect, abuse, or other significant factors. It’s essential to seek legal advice to build a strong case when pursuing full custody.

Other Options for Resolving Disputes

Even if mediation does not resolve all issues, there are other pathways available before resorting to court:

• Family Counselling can help parents address communication barriers.
• Negotiation and conciliation may assist in narrowing the issues in dispute.
• Arbitration is another option where a neutral third party makes a binding decision.

If none of these options result in an agreement, taking court action may be the next step. However, remember that court proceedings can be lengthy and costly, and it’s always best to get proper dedicated family law legal advice, and also explore alternative dispute resolution methods first.

Public Resources for Those with a Healthcare Card

If you’re eligible for public services, organisations like Relationships Australia, Family Relationships Online, and Family Relationship Centres can offer affordable mediation services. These services aim to help parents resolve their differences amicably without the need to go to court.

Final Thoughts: Navigating Custody and Mediation

Navigating the complexities of custody, visitation, and parenting orders can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. At Shamac Lawyers, we offer private Family Dispute Resolution services to help you find solutions that work for both you and your child.

If mediation is successful, you can create a legally binding agreement that prioritises your child’s best interests.

However, if you have been unsuccessful at mediation,  you’ll need to seek legal advice to assist with court proceedings for parenting orders.

If you’re ready to reconnect with your child or need help navigating this process, contact us to discuss how we can help you.